From today's Fermilab Today:
In an effort to save money and reduce the number of nuisance birds on site, the cafeteria staff has begun culling the goose population. The Fermilab cafeteria will also begin using local vegetation in its menu as an effort to serve only locally produced food. Carn Ivore, cafeteria manager, said eating items produced and captured on Fermilab lands will reduce shipping and preservation costs, plus increase the freshness of cafeteria cuisine.
This new emphasis on fresh, locally harvested ingredients is reflected in the menu at the lab's cafe:
Wednesday, April 1
Lunch
- Grilled breast of goose with artisan grasses
- Crispy asian beetle couscous
- Chocolate-covered ants
Thursday, April 2
Dinner
- Coyote burgers
- Tres petit frog legs
They're joking, of course; it's the annual April Fool's issue of the lab's online newsletter. They also put out a parallel newsletter with real news here, but frankly it's not nearly as much fun. In the fake version, physicists hold a car wash to raise money for DUSEL, the proposed Deep Underground Science and Engineering Laboratory; the lab announces a program to confine reckless drivers in stocks; and people are reminded bring their own toast bread to the Toastmasters Club meeting.
I was going to do a roundup of physics-related spoofs but The Great Beyond already has a nice selection, including CERN's announcement of the discovery of a hideous prehistoric particle.
Physics Buzz asked readers to submit April Fool's headlines and captions and got this, among others:
End of World Postponed until Monday
A lead physicist at the Large Hadron Collider has postponed scheduled production of Earth-eating black holes until Monday, April 5 because he has a hot date Friday night...
Elsewhere, the blog's Agent Utah reveals:
Man Who Claimed LHC Would Blow Up the World Admits "It Was Supposed to be a Joke, Man!"*
We only wish it were so.
